Eating disorders are secretive illnesses. They thrive in secrecy and breed behind the closed doors of silence. However, secrecy and privacy are separated by a fine line, which was respected. I had diaries within which my thoughts, calculations, graphs – whatever I was using to document, chart and fulfil my obsession with food and weight was untouched by anyone but myself. In here I could write my dark thoughts, my lists upon lists of obsessions, and my drawings to express myself. She saw of it what I showed her. I trust this very much to be true, as I trust her very much. She would be honest with me about everything, even if I didn’t want to hear it – and I her. This provided me with a sanctuary within which I could express myself, and help deal with the thoughts and feelings that arise from an eating disorder.
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